Mama Bird

Mama Bird

In the still quiet morning with coffee in hand, I greet the day. Pondering over the conversations from yesterday. A prayer welled up in my dry heart. Lord, I feel confused, hurt and defeated. It seems that the more I try to do good things, and help my grown kids, I get all wound up and end up more in the way, making a mess of it all. I am so NOT perfect. I certainly haven’t made it. My heart feels let down. I allowed my emotions to get upset about my daughter’s situation and I was ready to do battle. It was not my fight, but it was my child. I guess the Mama in me wanted to protect and help my child, even though she is all grown up with her own kids to take care of. I jumped right up in the middle of it all with both feet! Here I was shouting out to any enemy that would come against my child. I totally stopped my schedule to go get on that band wagon and I wanted to run it full force ahead. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to take charge and get it done for her. I have to remember that she is also independent, she is a grown-up, she is very smart, and she is a mother too. 

When she realized that my disturbed emotional attitude was fierce, it upset her. She just wanted to talk about it and for me to listen. She did not need for me to “fix it”, she just needed to vent and hear her reasoning and logic.  She said she wouldn’t call me again and share anything going on because of my behavior. Oh Lord! Please God, please don’t let that happen!  I am so sorry that I got upset and was ready to do battle for her. Lord it was a knee jerk reaction, it’s being a Mama. I do want her to be able to come to me and I promise I will do my best to just listen, not judge, not give my two cents and more, not put on the boxing gloves, crank up the train, load the gun and shout out war to the enemy. Just quietly listen, which is showing love to her. How I wish I had NOT gotten upset. Maybe I should let some calls go to my voicemail, but what if it were an emergency? I don’t want to ever miss their calls. Mamas are on call 24/7. I know one day in the future that those calls will be in “listen mode” only, because I know we are all human and won’t be here forever, but I want to be here forever, I’m a Mama.  My children are learning to fend for themselves. I have taught them to stand up for themselves, stand up and defend their family, their home, and their rights. Have I taught them enough? They are all grown up Lord…how do you train a grownup? How do you bend a tree that is full grown? What is my job now? I admit, I never got that Mother Manual from the hospital when my babies were born. This is new territory for me. Lord please grant unto me the wisdom from You on how to be a Mama to my grownup children. 

The Lord spoke to my heart…How do I train you? You are over 50 years old and a full grown woman. I speak to your heart, inside. It’s an inside job that I do.  I teach you in quiet and subtle ways. You listen and learn from Me. I give you My Words and you use them to grow. I fill you with My Spirit and give you Grace when needed. You stumble, just like a child when they learn to walk, but you keep going and keep learning. You are receiving instructions daily from Me and I pour inside you the knowledge and understanding on how to operate and function in the way and the areas that I have called you to. Those uneasy feelings are there because, there is a lesson you need to learn. Look and watch the birds of the air. Notice their nest, the careful way they tend to their young. They feed them, provide shelter and care for them as long as they are babies and when they are big enough, she teaches them new lessons.  The Mama bird nudges them to the edge of the nest, further from their place of safety. She gently pushes them until they are brave enough. Then she encourages them to try on their own. And they do.

They are growing and learning, by watching and doing what she does. They see how she flies high in the sky and loops around, then swoops low to grab a tasty morsel to feed them. The lessons that she teaches them are built into them and they store that information in their hearts. One day, the babies will fly high on their own.  They will take unto them a mate and start their own nest, preparing their new space for their own little family. New babies come and they become a Mama. The Mama bird will care for her babies and teach them the way to go. Then the inevitable day comes when they too will grow up and learn to fly, just like she did. Her heart will understand then, and only then, about the heart wrenching moments like these. Someday she will understand what you are feeling, and as a mama bird with little ones, babies that are growing up or already grown.  She will then know and feel what you do right now. Remember, all other mamas before you, have felt the same way and it will continue, because this is the life cycle, it is nature, it is God’s plan. We are to care for, provide for, teach, train, love and encourage our family while we can, for one day they will fly and have their own young ones to care for. You will delight in watching them grow and how your grownup baby is handling life issues and taking care of their little family. You will be so proud of them and smile because they are learning too. Let the grownup birds chirp and sing, and you listen to their hearts and cherish their songs. Listen to your babies sweet Mama while your ears are not dull of hearing and your heart sees all their wondrous progress. Be proud Mama bird, for your babies are flying. Life lessons come in many sizes and many shapes. Today is another lesson that you are learning. The homework can seem hard, but glean the lesson and do not be destroyed by it, for it is for your learning and with learning, you continue to fly.

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mamas